Thursday, 22 January 2015

In Case You Were Worried, I'm Not A Vampire

Last week I went to the dentist for the first time in longer than I care to think about. Anyway, the good news was that I didn't need to have all my teeth taken out and replaced by something better, in fact the dentist said I have "good, strong teeth". However, there was something a little weird...

I don't have my bottom two wisdom teeth and I don't have my top set of canines. They're not impacted, they're not waiting to come through, they're just not there.

Now, the lack of wisdom teeth just made me chuckle a bit, but the first thought that popped in to my head when I heard about the missing canines was that it proved, once and for all, that I am not a vampire.


Had that been bothering me on some level that I hadn't acknowledged in my conscious mind?

Here are some other things that indicate that I am not a vampire:

  1. I am not immortal.
  2. I cannot transform myself into mist, a big black dog, a bat, or anything else.
  3. I do not need to drink blood to survive.
  4. I can go out in daylight.
  5. I can walk into people's houses without them inviting me and it doesn't cause me to lose all my powers or bleed from the eyes.
Add those to the tooth thing and that's pretty conclusive.

Then there was my follow up thoughts: What would happen if I got bitten by a vampire, or, as we're speculating, a werewolf? Would I spontaneously grow canines while in my monster state, or would I just have to gnaw on people? Are my lack of canines a sign that I am the next stage of human evolution, now that we don't need to rip out the throats of our prey and can just chow down on some tasty carrots and the like?

We may never know.

1 comment:

  1. I was worried you might be a vampire. Now I can rest easy. :-)