Friday, 13 February 2015


Sometimes, when you’re trying to express yourself the important thing is just to do it, rather than to spend all your time wondering about the best way of doing it. I suppose what I’m saying is that, right at this moment, I think that it is more important for me to actually take part in some kind of creative act than to worry too much about whether it’s any good, or valid, or what I ought to be doing.

There really are few things as scary as a blank page.

Well… maybe a shark…

A shark that eats you just as you’re finally about to write something on a blank page which has been staring at you, all white and full of un-met potential, for hours.

Now that’s scary.

Sometimes I feel as though there’s something bubbling up inside me, trying to find a way out. Not in a gross Alien kind of a way. It’s like there’s an idea, a story that I want to tell, except it’s formless.

No, that’s not quite right. It’s not that it’s formless, because it feels as though the whole thing might leap out, fully formed if only I could catch it. The idea is slippery, or moving so fast round and around in my skull that I can’t get hold of it. I can’t slow it down enough to get it on paper.

Then again, sometimes I have the opposite problem. I grasp the idea and I sit down to write something, but I can’t get it down quickly enough. I have the whole idea, the entire story, right there, all at once, and I can’t write it quickly enough. So my fingers are typing the beginning of the story, while my brain is whizzing along to the end. I lose focus, and then I lose interest because I already know everything that happens and I’m too impatient to get it all down on paper.

That’s bad writing. Or rather, that’s being a bad writer. That’s how you end up with a million ideas and a million stories that you’ve started and barely any completed tales.

It’s partly how I came to love writing short stories, because I can focus on those. By the time my mind has whizzed on to something else, I’ve already written it and then it’s just a case of tweaking and caressing and making it beautiful. Except I have bigger tales to tell, longer stories and I stop myself from writing the short stories because I tell myself I ought to be focussing on bigger projects…

…at which point I refer you to the earlier problem. It’s a vicious circle.

Enough excuses.

If I want to express myself creatively, I just have to do so. I just need to cast aside my own judgement and my own fear and trust that I will find my voice. I just have to start writing and trust that the slippery, whirling storm in my head will allow itself to be eased out on to the scary blank page.

As for the sharks, I think I’m pretty safe from them in Oxford.

Fingers crossed.

Thursday, 22 January 2015

In Case You Were Worried, I'm Not A Vampire

Last week I went to the dentist for the first time in longer than I care to think about. Anyway, the good news was that I didn't need to have all my teeth taken out and replaced by something better, in fact the dentist said I have "good, strong teeth". However, there was something a little weird...

I don't have my bottom two wisdom teeth and I don't have my top set of canines. They're not impacted, they're not waiting to come through, they're just not there.

Now, the lack of wisdom teeth just made me chuckle a bit, but the first thought that popped in to my head when I heard about the missing canines was that it proved, once and for all, that I am not a vampire.


Had that been bothering me on some level that I hadn't acknowledged in my conscious mind?

Here are some other things that indicate that I am not a vampire:

  1. I am not immortal.
  2. I cannot transform myself into mist, a big black dog, a bat, or anything else.
  3. I do not need to drink blood to survive.
  4. I can go out in daylight.
  5. I can walk into people's houses without them inviting me and it doesn't cause me to lose all my powers or bleed from the eyes.
Add those to the tooth thing and that's pretty conclusive.

Then there was my follow up thoughts: What would happen if I got bitten by a vampire, or, as we're speculating, a werewolf? Would I spontaneously grow canines while in my monster state, or would I just have to gnaw on people? Are my lack of canines a sign that I am the next stage of human evolution, now that we don't need to rip out the throats of our prey and can just chow down on some tasty carrots and the like?

We may never know.

Sunday, 4 January 2015

Happy New Year, Happy Blogging!

Okay, first things first, how did I do on last year's Rambunctious Resolutions?

  1. Well, up until November I was pretty good at posting regularly. Then Nano took over my life, and then I was ill for most of December (nothing deadly, just annoying) and now here we are! So this is definitely a resolution that rolls over into 2015.
  2. Wow, I vowed to make this all killer and no filler. Big words there, Momento. I guess that's up to you to judge, Beautiful Readers, and might I say how fabulous you're all looking at the moment! Again, let's keep that one going.
  3. Sean Pertwee!!!! I certainly intend to keep up my resolution to watch everything he's ever been in, that's a life aim. I'll do a proper catch up soon (I know how much you all love those posts).
  4. Hmmm, I did resolve to be more creative and then didn't really make a lot of stuff. Tut-tut, Momento. I have been working on my novel quite a lot (watch this space) but again, this seems to be something I can keep working on (I see a pattern forming).
  5. I will continue to blog fearlessly!!! I will do my best to make this the best damn blog it can possibly be and live everyday as if it's Christmas... wait a minute, went a bit Dickensian there, but the point still stands. I'm even going to try and increase my readership so there are more Beautiful People out in the world experiencing some Momento Maureen Magic!
I realise that what I've basically just done is say that I'm going to have the exact same resolutions as last year, but they were such good resolutions that I'm okay with that, and on reflection they were all ongoing things rather than discreet tasks, so it's all good.

So, it's 2015, a sci-fi date if ever I heard one. I have a feeling that it's going to be a pretty awesome year, so let's skip forward, hand-in-hand, ready to face zombies, robots, drizzle and anything else we may encounter, together!