Thursday, 31 October 2013

Frightfest Hallowe'en All-Nighter

Last Saturday, after years of not being able to make it for one reason or another, my dad and I finally went to the Frightfest All-Nighter. We had a fine array of sweets and snacks (I highly recommend Sainsbury's chocolate eyeballs with popping candy), a flask of coffee for thems as can drink it and some sugary, fizzy goodness for me.

At 6.30 pm the lovely Frightfest team came to introduce the films and we were off. I'm not going to go in to too much detail about everything that happened in the next thirteen or so hours. There was break-dancing, tears of laughter and some very drunken hugs, calls for a disco dance competition and a huge amount of confusion about what time anything was happening given that the clocks went back that night. We could be here all day, so please allow me simply to treat you to a quick run down of the films.

First up was Soulmate. It's the story of a woman who moves to a haunted cottage in the beautiful Brecon Beacons after the death of her husband and makes a connection with the spirit of the former owner. This wasn't a great film. It was quite spooky but there was some really clunky dialogue. However, I did find myself enjoying it, even though I thought I probably shouldn't. It was quite cheesy, but the perfect guilty pleasure for a rainy day. It's worth it for the brilliant performance by the director's dog, Anubis, surely a star in the making.

Next came Patrick, introduced by the lovely Sharni Vinson, who I was super excited to see because she was so good in both You're Next and Step Up 3D - yep, already a legend. I loved Patrick! It's all about telekinesis and obsession and is both crazy and brilliant. There are some really gross moments and sections where I seemed to be jumping out of my chair every few seconds. If you're a horror fan, give this a watch, I'm sure you'll love it too.

Mark of the Devil took away two hours of my life that I'll never see again and made me feel a little disappointed in myself for sitting all the way through it. I did learn that Udo Kier was a bit of a hottie in his youth...

 but that didn't really make up for anything.

I also loved Discopath. An ingenious film set in 1980 about a man driven mad by disco. It's funny and thrilling and had an awesome soundtrack that kept me grooving in my chair despite it being some ridiculous time of night. I hope the suggested sequel doesn't take too long to manifest.

The Station was like an Austrian The Thing but with an environmental message. There were some good monsters and horrible happenings that still make me feel a little queasy, all wrapped up in a good story, I just wish they'd stuck with a direct translation of the original title and called it Blood Glacier, because how much cooler does that sounds?!

Finally, at something like 5.30 in the morning (maybe) was Nothing Left to Fear, the tale of a minister moving to a country town with his family only to discover there's more going on than meets the eye. Hmmm, this was okay. There were some good jumps and creepy bits, but I've seen very similar stories done better, and without some of the massive plot holes this had. Still, you can never really dislike something starring Clancy Brown. Clancy Brown is awesome.

If you like horror films about demons, give it a watch, but don't set your expectations too high.

My goodness, this has got a bit long! It was a fun night spent in brilliant company, and I have to credit the Vue West End with having very comfortable seats. If you love horror films and can cope without the sleep, come along next year, you really won't regret it and I might even let you share my sweeties.

Wednesday, 2 October 2013

My 50th Post and Some Lovely Songs

Pop some party poppers, put on a party hat. This is my 50th post! In celebration, I'm going to tell you all about the Zombie Duck.

I was in the park a little while ago and I saw this creature...
Now, I appreciate that this isn't a great picture. I may well have been eating an ice-cream at the time. Anyway, if you look closely, it has a sort of grey head, and spooky looking white bits around it's eyes. It was standing perfectly still for ages and looked just like a Zombie Duck! So, the other day I wrote this song about it, to the tune of the Spiderman cartoon.

Zombie Duck! Zombie Duck!
If he bites you, you're out of luck.
Won't eat bread. Won't eat grains.
He only wants to eat your brains.
Look out!
This is the Zombie Duck!

Then I looked at the picture again and thought, what with that long neck, it was much more likely to be some kind of Zombie Goose. So I adapted my song.

Zombie Goose! Zombie Goose!
This evil fiend is on the loose.
Beware the patter of webbed feet
'Cause it's your brains he's gonna eat.
Look out!
This is the Zombie Goose!

By this point, I was getting quite in to composing these songs, and started writing one about a Zombie Swan, but being that I was actually sitting back in the park and what I could mainly see was seagulls, I came up with this final verse instead...

Zombie Gull! Zombie Gull!
The human race he's about to cull.
You hear him squawking in the hair.
He'll eat your brains, spit out your hair.
Look out!
This is the Zombie Gull!

And with that I was done.