Today I would like to offer you some tips on the fine art of prevarication, postponement and putting things off. What, I hear you ask, could dear Momento Maureen possibly have to put off in this run up to Christmas-tide? Well, Beautiful Reader, allow me to tell you.
Cast your mind back to August, when I took part in Momento Maureen's Fantabulous Week of Challenges. One of those tasks was to make a zombie army from my Fold-Your-Own-Zombie calendar. I had expected it to be fun, but actually it was a nightmare of glue, sticky tape and tiny bits of paper.
It nearly broke me.
Well, I have managed to do exactly what I told myself I wouldn't. I haven't made another bloody paper zombie since. Now I have four of the little bastards, still in their 2D form, mocking me.
December is slipping through my fingers, it seems unlikely that I'll do it in Christmas week and I want them out of my life before 2014 hits. That gives me a week.
Now really I should just sit myself down and get on with it. But I know it's not going to be fun, and I don't like doing things that aren't fun.
So, instead I have written this blog post. You see, the best way to put things off is to do other things instead, things that really are quite useful, so you feel like you're being productive. I remember my tutor at university telling me that when she was meant to be writing up her PhD thesis she actually found herself ironing her flatmate's sheets. I'll probably do the washing up in a bit, maybe wrap some Christmas presents, perhaps think through what my New Years Resolutions should be. I'm even considering starting a new blog in which to chart my rise to mental health (fingers crossed) so that this one can stay a bit more purely zombified and joyous. I'll definitely try and make all the sentences in this post that little bit longer than is strictly, if you think about it, absolutely necessary.
But next time I post here there will be the remaining members of my zombie army (probably), and then I might just burn all the little shits.